Has insecurity had its grip on you? If so, I want you to ask yourself where your focus has been. Trying to be like the world or look like the world leads to insecurity. Rather than focusing on the world and what you have or don't have, focus on God and the calling He has placed on your life. Your mission. Get mission focused. Run your own race. Fix your eyes on Jesus.
This world is not our home. If you feel like you don't fit in or belong here, it's because this is a temporary place. Our home is heaven. We all have a longing for our home, but while we're here we need to remember what really matters. It's not fitting in or being like everyone else. The Bible tells us not to conform to this world, but rather to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We're supposed to think differently than the world.
Romans 12:2
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
We don't live for the approval of man, but for the approval of God. Likes and followers, titles and the praises of men—these things don't equate to God's approval. You may live a quiet life that the world doesn't recognize or praise, but if you're in the will of God, then you're exactly where you need to be.
The enemy will use insecurity to try to keep you from your calling and purpose —to make you shrink back because you feel like you're not enough— not good enough, not beautiful enough, not smart enough, not enough followers, etc. When you understand that it's not about any of that, it's about pleasing God, then you can live freely. He called you. He chose you. He assigned you. Not anyone else. Frankly, not even you. So, when you question, just remember that He made this decision, not you, and He's not wrong. He knows exactly who He created you to be and what He created you to do.
David could have looked at the sheep in the field and thought to himself, how can I be a king? Look at me, I'm taking care of sheep. I'm a nobody. But God had plans for David. God's plans for you are not dependent on what you see when you look around or even what others see when they look at you. His family didn't think much of him, but they didn't need to. God knew exactly who David was and what He called him to do. God's plans for your life only require you to be faithful, not to make people think you're "somebody" or even different or better than you really are. God's promise to Abraham didn't require Abraham trying to make it happen. It required his faithfulness. God is the one responsible for making His promises come to fruition in your life.
Your job is to run the race set before you, focus on your calling/mission, and abide in Jesus. Nothing else matters. You don't need to be perfect, but you need to be faithful to do what God has called you to do. When you get your eyes off of yourself and the world, and fix them on Jesus and the race He's set before you, insecurity loses its grip on you. One of my pastors always says, "What you feed grows. What you starve dies."
If you're really struggling with insecurity, you might need to fast. It's an important part of walking with God, and sometimes we need to fast in order to break things off of us. The life God has for you is a life where you find your identity and security in Him. He says you're enough. He loves you and says you're beautiful. He gives you purpose. Wholeness comes from Him. Freedom comes from Him. Fasting from insecurity says, this thing can't come with me any farther. It has no part in my life. I recommend a food fast, as well as a mental fast from insecurity. Renew your mind with the truth of God's Word. Remind yourself what He says about you, because God can't lie.
If you're struggling because you've been rejected, I want you to remember this, God chose you. He chooses you every day, and anything He has for you, you won't be rejected from. The Bible says that God opens doors that no man can close and closes doors that no man can open. That means if it was for you, it would have been yours.
Sometimes as women, we think if a man doesn't want us or has wandering eyes and a wandering heart, that we're not good enough or not beautiful enough, because if we were, then he wouldn't do that. That is a lie! When anyone has wandering eyes and a wandering heart, it's about them. It's about the condition of their heart. Don't put their issues onto yourself and think it has anything to do with you. Even the most beautiful women get cheated on. It's not about you needing to be more perfect or more beautiful. A person's character, integrity, convictions, discipline, and self control keep them from certain behaviors. If that man lacks those things, it has NOTHING to do with you. Maybe he criticized you and your appearance. That's still not about you. Someone not loving you, accepting you, or valuing you does not change your value or worth.
Imagine if your friend said, "My boyfriend doesn't think I'm beautiful and told me I need to change these things about myself, and he's always looking at other women, etc." You would look at your friend and be like, Girl, that's not a good man, and you need to end that relationship. He's clearly toxic and has evil in his heart." So then why, if a man treats you badly and fails to appreciate you, would you think it's about you??? Reject what that man said about you and move on. Even if it was more than one man in your life! Maybe you've picked some rotten fruit in the past, but the past is over. It's time to move on in the fulness of all that God, your loving Father, has for you. The Lord has good plans for your life, and you are beautiful!
